2005-03-21 - 10:39 a.m.
Things I can't deal with while I have PMS
Sorry in advance for all the yelling.
-Fixing the furnace. I rent. Someone else should be getting paid with my rent money to MAKE THE KNOCKING AND BANGING STOP. It's so freaking loud. I'm getting concerned about leaving my poor dog home tomorrow as I'm guessing he'll either have hearing loss or be CRAZY. LIKE I WILL IN A FEW MINUTES. Also? The advice the landlady gave to "use the little key thing until a little water comes out because there's air in the pipes" is unacceptable. Turning the key leads to NOTHING. Until I get frustrated, leave it in there for 5-10 minutes, and all of a sudden hear HORRIBLE SMELLING WATER SPRAYING ALL OVER MY KITCHEN. And we all know (well, if you don't know, it's true) how I feel about smells. Bad smells make me want to just give up and move to a new house until there are bad smells there. At which point I'll just move to another new place and so on. This is why I should not be allowed to live alone -- I can't take care of myself if it involves Things That Smell Bad.
-I know I got a light pink purse in March. All I wanted was to feel springy! That's all! Just a little taste of spring in the rainy-snowy-35-degree weather in Chicago this time of year. But I've now learn that because I am DIRTY and UNABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS the pretty purse is now dingy-greyish pink with icky grey edges. I should have sent it to live with Susie Sunshine when she asked for custody.
-Diaryland hates me and eats all of my images. (It had a bit of a bad weekend. Sorry if you were trying to access anything with "diaryland" in the URL) So I try to use Shutterfly because I'm smart! And can do internetty things because I graduated college with honors in my major and a pretty darn good GPA! No. I'm stupid. My image map is worse than it was before (though with prettier text because I used Photoshop instead of Paint!) and is big and fatty and takes over my whole page.
-Cubs-related trauma #1: Okay, I know we're down a few starting pitchers. But can we all agree on just one little simple thing? I know it's tough what with the spring training Testing of Talent in the Minors and all, but just this one little request. Let's all agree that Sergio Mitre sucks. Really bad. Like, I can count the number of non-horrendous (not good. Just not mind-blowingly horrible) starts on one finger. So can we start trying to send other pitchers in? There have to be some players in AA or A or HIGH SCHOOL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD who give up fewer than 8 runs in 4 innings.
-Cubs-related trauma #2: The very cool new-favorite site Chicago Media Monitor (lots of updates on the soap operas behind sports talk radio make me happy) has a story on how San Francisco thinks that apparently Chicago's frustration with Dusty Baker is completely different from SF's frustration with him. Differently because Chicago is only annoyed with him because we're all racist here and he's black. Not because he can't handle a pitching staff, may have jacked up Prior's arm for good, would rather keep a pitcher feeling good about himself instead of taking him out in the 7th inning of a NLCS game in which he had OBVIOUSLY lost his composure which then caused them to lost the series while allowing the entire country to blame a poor guy in the stands instead of the manager who actually deserved the blame. Wow, sorry. That was a long sentence. Anyway, screw you San Francisco. F. Y. M. You wanted to get rid of him way more than we do now. Go smoke up and kayak around your baseball park instead of watching the game.*
-Listening to, watching, or reading the following as they will make me cry:
"Do You Realize" by the Flaming Lips (Ack! Yes, I know we're all going to die! Stop telling me!)
"Legally Blonde" (poor, poor lonely Elle, *sniff*)
The Chicago Tribune (please stop telling me about the little Florida girl who got sexually assaulted then killed)
An email from my husband (thanks for being so mad on my behalf about the heater, but Being Nice To Me(Me Missing You A Lot) + PMS = Me Crying At Work)**
*I like you, San Francisco, I really do. I just got a little pissed when reading that while hormonal. Sorry...
**Look! I still remember something from 9th grade algebra!
And now for something completely different...
I'm giving blood today! Wish me luck that I don't faint, as I faint often.
To: The Publishing Industry
Re: Cover Art
This little fun chick-lit thing you've got going is fine. I enjoy quite a lot of it. But I really don't need you to SMASH ME IN THE FACE with it by putting a woman's feet and legs on the cover of every book that you want women to buy. I promise, if there's a book out there that I would like to read, I'll be more likely to buy it if the cover is interesting. In case that's to obtuse for you, interesting means NOT THE SAME AS EVERY OTHER BOOK ON THAT SHELF. For example, I found a book I desperately want to read on one of the best book reviewing sites ever, Bookslut. Said book had a moving, powerful cover that actually scared me a little. I wondered for a moment if I can handle the strength of that book in my current emotionally fragile state. Then I went searching to make sure the book was available and discovered this cover. In the space of about 2 seconds, I went from coveting the book to wondering if I really wanted to spend my money on a book that would make me look like a pansy on the el.*** Is that what you want from your cover art? Women with taste and judgment RUNNING AWAY SCREAMING from your pansy covers? I'm getting this book because Bookslut told me to (and I do what they say), but the next time I'm thinking about a book and I see the cover and there are female feet on the cover? I'm boycotting.
***Yes. I'm that shallow in my mind. I usually keep that part of me from getting out into the open though.
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