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2005-04-07 - 2:18 p.m.

So, you keep saying you're a dork. Why don't you prove it?

Okay, then, I will. I am a big dork.

Why? Because I (and my husband. I'm not alone in the dorkiness) have the equivalent of approximately 100 bottles of homebrewed beer* sitting in boxes on the kitchen floor. We're planning to have friends over Saturday in order to drink down enough bottles to be able to have enough to bottle our next beer. Without buying more bottles. Because that's a slippery slope, yo** -- we don't need to become beer hoarders with a hole in the kitchen floor where our beer broke through it due to sheer weight.

*And good stuff, if I do say so myself. It's been well reviewed by both the homebrewing club and also friends.

**I am down with the homies, yo. Beeyotch.

Since my site has started showing up in Google, I have had exactly two searches that have brought someone here. Those two searches were:
blown up skirts
be the french fries

Okee-dokee. The person searching for blown up skirts must have been really quite disappointed. Sorry, buddy. But its the second one that really gets me. Are we talking about being the french fries in a zen way? Like, "listen, grasshopper, you must be the french fry before you can eat the french fry." I want to know. I must know.

Baseball for Casual Fans: Installment #1

The Cubs don't play today. You think that will stop me from writing about baseball?

HA! I have more to say than just stuff about the Cubs. I'm going to start a semi-regular series about how to enjoy baseball. I'll be your hard-core fan friend who translates baseball into casual for you. I'll try to leave out the stats for the most part and focus on the stuff that would interest people without my umm... obsessiveness. And if you have a subject you'd like to see addressed, email me about it. I'm happy to take requests.

The Tigers (my AL team. Yes, if they meet in the World Series again as they did in '45, I'll have to choose. I'll choose the Cubs. But is it likely? No.) had a MONSTER opening day this year. It reminds me of another team. Dmitri Young, their DH (I'm saving the DH rant for another day. I hate it, but I'll live with it until someone makes me baseball commissioner. Then it's gone.) went (I think -- I'm going off of memory here) 4 for 4 with 3 of those hits being home runs. the rest of the team did well also, but wow. Dmitri, could you do me a favor and not break any of your bones this spring? You're too damn good.

The Tigers have a couple of pitchers that are real feel-good stories. If you're not much into baseball, I've found that knowing a bit about the players backgrounds can sometimes make the incessant baseball talk you're likely to hear this time of year more interesting. So I'll just be your friendly neighborhood baseball interest-er. (I make up words. Bite me)

Jeremy Bonderman: A young pitcher who has been through some difficult years already. He has a lot of talent, but he went through high school battling dyslexia** and ended up dropping out and getting his GED so he would be eligible for the MLB draft earlier. This is a great story about why people (read: the Oakland A's) shouldn't make snap judgements about others' intelligence. He's starting to come into his own a bit, and every good outing he has makes me proud. I love seeing him use the talents he was given versus trying and failing to succeed on a typical American Dream type of path. Just because I'm good at reading doesn't mean that people who aren't are any less talented. But we all managed to get different talents, so lets be a little more understanding, shall we? Steve Schott? I don't see you nodding.

Jason Johnson: The first player to get a special dispensation (that word always makes me think of the Pope. But in this case it's from Bud Selig) to be allowed to carry his insulin onto the field during games. I don't have any personal experience with juvenile diabetes, but Ron Santo is one of my heroes. I was not happy when he was not elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame AGAIN this year. I could do a whole series of posts on why he's one of the best baseball players of all time, then another series on why he's also an all-around great guy. But instead of that, I would highly recommend the movie This Old Cub. Even if you're not a baseball fan, seriously. Go see it.

Anyway, back to Jason Johnson. He was allowed to carry insulin onto the field so that he didn't have to DIE if he started having a problem. (I can't believe it took until 2004 for MLB to allow this) He's a talented pitcher (not one of the superstars, but not everyone gets to be Randy Johnson) and I think he'll end up having a very steady career. And he's very active with JDRF. Like Ron Santo!

The Cubs had a rough series to start the year. They don't too well with the Diamondbacks anytime, and they also fell victim to Luis Gonzales, a confirmed Cub-killer.*** It's only the first series, though, and we saw some beautiful things from Corey Patterson, Derek Lee, and Jeremy Burnitz. Now, can I get me a pitching staff? Without Ryan Dempster as a starter? Thanks.

***Cub-killer is defined as a person who consistently has amazing, breakout games when playing the Cubs. Some are great all the time, but some are horrible except when they play the Cubs. They're a little frustrating.

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