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2005-03-07 - 7:53 a.m.
Vacation? Scene 1: At home after work on Friday, cleaning, doing dishes, and packing to leave for the cottage in Wisconsin. Me: *Packing, cleaning, getting pissed at the traffic, making sure we bring the new digital camera to play with, the dog's leash and toys, clothes/toiletries/makeup, thinks last-minute to bring up a contact case and solution to leave up there in case I ever forget to bring it* Husband: *Doing more law school crap, wishing he were in the working world al-freaking-ready* Dog: *Bouncing around kitchen to ensure he gets to come, trying to get packed in the suitcase and/or get in the car NOW NOW NOW* Scene 2: In the car, husband is driving, I'm navigating to avoid as much Friday afternoon rush hour traffic as possible, dog is conviced that he should be in the front seat with us. Me: "Once we get past the Loop, traffic should clear up quite a bit." Husband: "Fucking Loop traffic." Dog: *Sneaks one foot over center console* 20 minutes later Me: "Look! It's clearing up! At least we're not on the Kennedy." Husband: "Maybe we'll be able to get to that Racine A&W I like stopping at for dinner." Dog: *Sneaks other foot over center console* 10 minutes later Me: "Oh, wow -- I forgot how fast Lake Shore Drive gets you to the far North Side." Husband: "Yeah. How do I get to the Edens from here?" Dog: *Launches the rest of his 70 pound self over the center console creating chaos in the front seat* Scene 3: Due to Friday afternoon Chicago traffic, it has taken 5 hours to do the normally 3 - 3 1/2 hour drive. We turn down the long driveway that is covered in 4 inches or so of snow. We head down the large hill and slip a little, then get to the small uphill area halfway down the long driveway and our wheels start to spin. Me: "Why don't we just leave the car here. We'll worry about it tomorrow morning when it's light out. Let's just get the luggage and head inside." Husband: "Okay. I could get it out though." Dog: OHMYGODWEAREINWISCONSIN ICANPEEONTREESANDTRYTOCATCHBIRDS ILOVEMYLIFE* Everyone: *Jumps out of car* Husband: *Opens trunk* Me: "Umm, where's the suitcase?" Husband: *Views trunk, notes that we remembered both laptops, sixpack of homebrew, dog food, and both bowling balls* "You've got to be kidding me. Well, what was the most important thing in there?" Dog: *I SMELL A BIRD!!! DO YOU HEAR ME? A BIRD! AND IT'S NOT A PIGEON!* Me: "I can get by without everything. We can sleep naked and turn our undies inside out in the morning *remembers* oh crap. My contact stuff. Well, I guess I can sleep in them tonight..." Husband: *stares at me horrified* "I am SO sorry. I can't believe I left it." Dog: *THE LAKE! IT'S GONE! AND IN ITS PLACE? MILES OF PURE WHITE DOGGY RACETRACK! I LOVE MY LIFE!"* Me: "I'll be fine. I've done it before. And don't blame yourself -- I could have helped by noticing that the huge suitcase wasn't in the car. And your parents are coming up tomorrow with their 4WD Blazer. It's an adventure!" Scene 4: 6:55 Saturday morning. Dog: "Whine Whine Whine" *THE SUN IS UP AND I'M NOT OUTSIDE. MY LIFE SUCKS!* Me: *opens eyes* "Gah! The pain! My corneas are ripping! MUST GET LASIK SURGERY! Gah!" Husband: *sleeps* Epilogue: His parents come, we get contact stuff from the town 20 minutes away, the husband gets the car out through sheer dedication and willpower. Our wilderness adventure ends.
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