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2005-06-14 - 9:13 p.m.

Dork Area: Do Not Pick Up Hitchhikers

Okay, I can't hold it in any longer. You know how I talk about baseball and beer a lot? Like that makes me cool or something? Well, I may be discussing those quasi-cool hobbies (is baseball a hobby? Well, I guess if you count it as Something I Do in My Spare Time That Uses Too Many Brain Cells, then yes. Hobby. Anyway...) quite a bit because I enjoy them. But I feel that you've been getting an incomplete picture of my interests.

I don't watch a lot of TV. In fact, if it weren't for baseball and TiVo, I'd probably forget that I had a TV at all. But lovely TiVo records everything I want to watch for me!

My husband and I watch lots of shows that cool people watch. We even got HBO so that we can see The Sopranos and Deadwood and Six Feet Under. I also have an unrequited love affair with Alton Brown from Good Eats.

And now that Get Smart is back on the air (sorry, non-Chicagoans, it's on a local channel only), I've been enjoying a periodic Maxwell Smart fix to go along with my love for the old-school Adam West/Burt Ward Batman series. Ahh, Max and 99. The romantic tension was just what I needed as a lonely, fairly unpopular 7th grader. Look! Some people love each other and just don't know it yet! And then when they figure it out, they beat the bad guys, get married, and have twins! Thanks, MeTV, for taking me back to that happy time.

A bit later in middle school, and then well into high school, I became obsessed with another show. Now, I say obsessed. I don't mean that it's all I could talk or think about, but I do think I have a mildly obsessive personality. I get into things and I get into them HARD. No sort of half-liking things for me. (Well, unless you count football. I like football very mildly)

Wait for it.......

Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Am big dork. But it also had plenty of sexual tension and unrequited love! And therefore was very nice for me, who had lots and lots of crushes. One of whom (this pains me to admit, and my husband got this weird scrunched look on his face when I told him) supposedly (third-hand or so) liked the crap song "Lady In Red." So I, ummm..., listened to the Lite FM station to hear it. Gah! Pretend you didn't read that! My street-cred!

Anyway. I loved Star Trek, enjoyed the original series, tried (and failed) to get into Deep Space 9 and Voyager and Enterprise, but there you have it. I'm still watching it, and TiVo is recording it for me, even though I probably have all of the shows memorized.

In my defense, I'm not obsessed like I was in high school (likely because I'm a.) more mature, b.) happily married and therefore not needing the same things as I did in high school, and c.) have already seen all of the episodes anyway), and I
have never in my life dressed up or gone to a convention. But I still bought some, umm..., books. And had a favorite author. And have accepted that I'm a huge freaking dork. And have written about it on the internet. Cheers!


Poor Planning

I made a very good (if I do say so myself) Chicken Caesar Salad recipe tonight. (I had neither the lemon nor the anchovies, but was not motivated enough to get them. Who knows -- it may even be better with them!) We even had a bottle of Smoking Loon Chardonnay! (Officially the coolest cork in all of wine-dom: Whooo! Whooo! Whooo! COUGH! Whooo!)

My husband came home and we were eating dinner. Now, the weather here has changed for the better. It's only 80-ish now instead of 90-ish. But my house is hot. Perhaps not hot for all people, but hot for me. So I (logically) took off my shirt at dinner. I mean, if my husband gets to sit there in his undershirt, shouldn't I sit there in my bra?

The answer? Yes. But only if I want to get some.

Apparently eating in a bra and pants is a turn-on. Who knew?

After we had mostly finished dinner, someone made some moves, and I realized that we can't go in the bedroom until the food products have been put away. It's a casualty of having a dog who is taller than me when standing on his hind legs. So I said, "Let's quick put everything away!"

My husband said, "Dammit! This was really poor planning on my part."

Poor husband. (it only took 5 minutes to clean up. Really NOT poor husband after all)


Cubs Blotter

Bob Brenly (Cubs' TV color analyst): Beckett's first complete game was when the Marlins faced the Cubs in game 5 of the 2003 NLCS. Do you remember that?

My husband: Yes, Bob. I fucking remember that series. Thanks for reminding me.

(For really really casual fans or those who don't follow baseball at all: That was the series that the Cubs lost that featured the Bartman incident.)


Speaking of which...

Warning: I get a bit foul-mouthed when I get angry. You've been warned.

Why don't I get my feelings on that fiaso out there? Especially after the Red Sox series which had lots of national TV coverage and lots of stupid shit about curses, and now the Marlins series that is being played up by the TV people like it's fucking Cubs/Cardinals. And in list form so I don't start going off on things for longer than necessary. Plus, I'll be able to dwell on it for a shorter time, which is good.

Full disclosure: I was pissed when I saw that play live. (if you don't know the play, let me know and I'll give you the run-down. I can't write about it here though. It's too painful) But by the time I had seen the FIRST replay, I knew that it wasn't Bartman's fault.

1.) It wasn't poor Steve Bartman's fault. He was mildly dorky looking, and just happened to be in the middle of a HUGE THRONG of fans reaching for that foul ball. I'm pretty sure that's why he got singled out. Every other fan in that section was reaching for that ball, but did any of them get death threats? No. He was sitting there, keeping score, listening to Pat Hughes and Ron Santo on WGN radio in case he missed an error call.

2.) The ball was getting blown back onto the field of play from FAR in the stands. It was a pretty strong wind, too. No one in the stands could have been expected to realize that it had a chance to be caught. Everyone (in the huge throng of fans reaching for the ball) had their backs to the field, watching the ball come down towards them.

3.) There is no fucking way that Moises Alou would have made that catch. He's just not that good of a fielder. Never. Maybe if he sold his soul to the devil. But even then, no.

4.) Remember how Alex Gonzalez booted an easy double-play ball? And how Prior started to melt down and Dusty didn't even think about pulling him? And how they had a whole 'nother game to potentially win? Yeah, neither do any of the assholes wearing Steve Bartman costumes at Halloween. That's the problem. Bartman absolved the Cubs (and Dusty Baker) of all of their mistakes that series just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

5.) Well, this is less of a reason than a warning. The next person I encounter dressed like Bartman and waving at national TV broadcasts is going to get himself kicked in the 'nads.


Last baseball bit of the night:

Sergio Mitre, a pitcher who has previously been doing well only in Triple-A ball, beat Roy Halladay, a recent Cy Young winner, last time out.

This time, he's making Josh Becket look silly.

Sergio -- I'm sorry. I take back all of the bitchy things I've said about you in the last couple of years. All of them.

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