2005-06-01 - 10:26 p.m.
It has come to my attention that the people voting for the All-Star Game are idiots. Derek Lee is having a season most players would kill for (seriously. homicide.), but Pujols (also a good player, but not having the kind of year Lee is) is far ahead in the balloting. What? I mean, name-recognition can only go so far. Please, when you vote, don't vote for Magglio Ordonez (hurt and on the DL) or Barry Bonds (hurt? or something? also on the DL). Nomar Garciaparra (hurt, on the DL for most of the season as well) is the leading vote-getter at shortstop. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? If you don't know who to vote for, don't vote for that position! It's easy!
I do recommend voting. And vote for whoever you want! I'm not here to force you to do something. But put a little thought into it. The game does mean something now (the league that wins gets home field advantage in the World Series, which can make a big difference), so put forth some effort. I'll respect you if you do, even if you do vote for Pujols (snort).
Every now and then, I wonder at how lucky I am. My husband is amazing, sexy, and brilliant. I would say I'm not so crappy myself generally, but I do things every now and then that make me curious about why he puts up with me. Now, he does things every now and then that annoy me, too. Mine just seem a bit more spectacular.
Him- Can't put anything away to save his life. I don't really think it's hyperbole -- if someone came in and told him that if he didn't clean the house he would drown, he might end up drowning.
Me- Can generally put things away, but seems to attract vermin
-For instance: the Potato-and-Fruit-Fly Incident. In which I managed to forget about a bag of potatoes in the cupboard I use as a pantry. When one forgets about potatoes, they tend to liquefy and then turn into a fruit fly breeding ground. My husband then completely cleaned the pantry including ripping out the Contact paper that had been ruined and putting new paper in -- while I was at work so I didn't have to see or smell it.
-Another, more recent (and by "more recent" I mean "yesterday") example: I, um, kinda forgot to clean out the container we'd been using for a batch of beer. Then put it in the back room and left it there while we were gallivanting about Wisconsin over Memorial Day weekend. So we came back to an infestation of BIG FUCKING BLOW FLIES (henceforth to be known as the Trub-and-Blow-Flies Incident). And yes, the swearing is necessary. I came home from work yesterday, opened the door to the back room, the dog went in, then I shrieked, called the dog out, and slammed the door. I called my husband, tried to place the blame on him (because he hadn't taken out the garbage in a while), then realized that it was all my fault. So, you know, I shouldn't have yelled at him. And I REALLY shouldn't have stood idly by (read: ran into the furthest room from the flies and read my book) while he cleaned out the fly-infested back room.
Him- Good at math, but tends to leave things like bill paying to me.
Me- Horrible at math. I admitted to him the other day one of my deep dark secrets. I've never been able to balance a checkbook in my life. Not just balancing it within a few dollars. I've never gotten closer than $40 off. I also have already mentioned the six tickets we've gotten because I don't know how to send in car registration money.
Now, there are things about me that I know he's lucky to have. Things that make us very right for each other.
-He made a joke about going to Connecticut to see the Hartford Whalers at a party this weekend. The friend just stared blankly at him, so he called me over and said it to me. I giggled and then made a return joke about doing a little cheering for Gordie Howe. The friend had walked away by the time we stopped discussing it.
-I have minor temper tantrums if I get to baseball games too late to keep score.
-We feel almost exactly the same about a lot of major life decisions. Kids, where to live, money (except when I'm throwing it away on car registration tickets), etc.
-I not only let him homebrew in the house, I'm pretty much as active in the brewing process as he is.
-I let him* be in some very time-consuming but fun-for-him things like bowling, softball, and ultimate leagues.
-When he sings a song to the dog that repeats "Fart-nose, Ogen-fart," over and over again, I laugh.
So, I guess I'm not really that inadequate. I just wish sometimes that I could go a few weeks without making the poor guy crazy.
*I say "let him" even though it's stupid that I would have to let him do anything. We're adults, and as long as he doesn't ignore me or never spend time with me it would be dumb to tell him he can't do something he wants to do. We're not a matched set who has to do everything together. That being said, he gets comments nearly every time he goes to a league even without me along the lines of, "Wow, your wife lets you do this?"
Brush with a Blogebrity:
Claire Zulkey, of zulkey.com fame, posted my letter. Her mom answered my question in a brilliant and funny way, and I think I'm going to take her advice about the grasses. The plastic flowers idea might get stolen too, judging from some of my neighbors' yards.
An Open Letter to Men:
This may not apply to all men. But I can't really thing of a limiting factor (geography, culture, etc.) -- so if you don't see yourself in this description, pass on the information to someone who may need it more.
The best way to tell a woman that you appreciate the way she looks, walks, or smiles is NOT to yell "Wanna go for a ride?" out the window of your car. It is also not to say, "Hey, baby, lookin' good!" while passing her on the street.
The way to get a woman to have sex with you is to get to know her, be kind, and connect on an intimate level. This takes time and also quite a bit of patience.
Therefore, if you yell, "Shake that thang!" out the window of your car, you can expect me to NOT jump right in and start getting in your pants. Also, if you say, "Pretty hot today!" while passing me on the street, I'm not going to pull you into a doorway and take my shirt off.
Please note these recommendations and refrain from pissing me off again.
The Sox Broadcast
My problems with the Sox today were twofold.
1.) I was trying to take a 15 minute nap at 6pm. The game started at 6:10, and I was brutally awakend by the fireworks announcing the start of the game. Now, usually I like being close enough to the park to hear the booms, but it was a bit of a surprise this time and I don't love getting jerked awake like that.
2.) They were scheduled on the same channel as the Cubs. When their game went a little long, I missed the first inning on the Cubs game. When the Cubs are on the West Coast, the first inning is really all I can manage before I have to sleep (work does take precedence over baseball, as I haven't yet found a way to get paid to watch games. YET.), so I'm up late and will be paying tomorrow.
They somewhat made up for this, though, because at the very end of the game some lady got all up in a background-noise microphone's business and screamed, "YOU SUCK!" I don't know exactly who was sucking at the time, but it was SO loud and so unmentioned by Hawk and/or DJ (maybe they didn't hear it? I don't know...) that it made me laugh a lot.
Nothing else to say, so...
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