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2005-02-22 - 8:34 p.m.
Spring Training!!! Hurrah! Baseball season! Something to take my mind off of the Fiasco-That-Is-Major-League-Hockey! And to make me overuse exclaimation points! In honor of a new baseball season, my husband bought me Cubs* underpants. Disturbing? No, cute. They're white bikinis (not thongs. Never thongs.) with a little red sparkly Cubs C on the front. Awww! I think I'm less excited than I was at the beginning of last season, but I'm convinced that they'll do a lot better than they did last season.
Reasons:
-A team approach vs. individuals who do their own damn thing
-They should be quite a bit healthier (Prior especially)
-Maybe Dusty learned something last year? (okay, that's wishful thinking)
-Nomar for a whole season!
-Corey (one of the few athletes I'm willing to break my don't-ever- think-athletes-are-hot-because-male-sports-fans-won't-respect-you rule for) Patterson will get his adorable self in gear and learn to freaking control himself at the plate.
-That pitching staff. So much talent... *Yes, we're Cubs fans even though we live 6 blocks from Comiskey Park. His whole family is from the south side for generations and are still Cubs fans. Our theory is that south side Cubs fans have the baseball knowledge of Sox fans (want me to explain a double switch? I'll do it, don't push me...) with the optimism of Cubs fans. The other working theory that has yet to be refuted is that 75% of Cubs fans are idiots who go to the game to see, be seen, get drunk, find a guy/girl, or because everyone else is doing it. 25%, however, enjoy the game, have a good working knowledge of baseball in general, and are some of the more knowledgable fans in baseball. Links that kick ass This is so wonderful. Soldiers who need books can request them and then anyone sends them over. How boring would it be in between the stressful, horrible times? Help them out if you can. Bug Me Not prevents you from having to sing into all of the !#@$ing sites that make you sign up and enter your personal information before you can access anything. (NY Times? Chicago Tribune? I'm looking at you...) Looking for a dog or cat? Please please please don't contribute to the puppy mill industry by buying from a pet store. Go to Petfinder! Gah! Overheard at the staid government agency where I spend some of my working time: "We're thinking about going to Grand Titties State Park."
Um, what? Now, if you're making fun of Grand Teton that's understandable. I spent a lot of time in 9th grade French class laughing about how it means "big breasts" in French. But I'm pretty sure it's a National not State Park first of all. And second -- shouldn't someone have laughed at the funny-ha-ha joke? No one laughed! It was a normal, average part of the conversation. I ended up not sure what to feel more icky about -- that it was said, that it was wrong, or that it wasn't even acknowledged as a mistake/joke. How dumb can I be sometimes? Discuss. In the last few weeks, I've done some really dumb things. They seem to be multiplying, though. Examples:
-I walked up to a CTA turnstile and tried to walk through. I forgot, however, that the CTA likes for people to pay before they go in. So my monthly pass was sitting in my pocket and the turnstile didn't give at all. Since I was walking fairly fast, I bruised my turnstile-level areas but good. (I'm really glad I'm not male)
-I went to get the license plate renewal. I'm still convinced that this one is not entirely my fault and also can be blamed on the Illinois DMV. I went in, the gruff and unfriendly man in charge of the line looked at my paper and told me I needed to pay with cash, check, or Discover card. Who only accepts Discover? I had forgotten the check I was going to bring, so I decided I'd have to give up my place in line and go upstairs (this was the DMV in the Thompson Center) to get money from the ATM. I looked at my paper and read that it cost $58. Went upstairs, got $60, and went back down. I was in line again with 2 or 3 people behind me when I looked again and discovered that I actually had to pay $85. Back up to the ATM again...
-I realized I had forgotten my lunch while waiting at the bus stop just over a block from my house. Instead of going back, I decided that since I could see the bus I wouldn't risk a potential Murphy's Law slow-bus-bunch-up and I'd just buy lunch today. Got on the bus, transferred to the el, got off the el, started walking to work, and realized that my wallet was right next to the packed lunch on the kitchen table. So I ended up begging from office people for change like a hobo. (I did successfully make enough money for a polish sausage! Yay me!)
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